Sex In The Car (Not What You're Thinking)

   A few months ago, I hopped into a car along with Doralyn and two other close lady friends of ours. We were headed out on a short, out-of-town jaunt.
   As a group, we have known each other for over twenty years and there is very little we don't share. I don't really remember how we got onto this particular subject, but at one point one of the lady friends mentioned that she "doesn't do oral and she doesn't do anal". We, of course, all got the giggles at this point and life was fine. Her declaration seemed to almost toe the party line because, really now, who does do those things?
   At the time, however, this gave me great pause for reflection.
   As I mentioned, I have known this particular woman for a long time, have always found her to be extremely attractive and generally thought that her husband was quite the lucky guy.
   Until she made that comment.
   Now don't get me wrong, regardless of her opinion around those two particular practices, I still think he's a pretty lucky guy and I know many would agree with me. I think it's also possible that what gets said in a car among friends may not be what actually goes on at home between couples.
   The whole experience, though, reminded me to subtly re-think how I view people in general, particularly in terms of their attractiveness and/or sexuality. It all kind of gets back to that "beauty is only skin deep" thing we hear so much about. Just because a person is outwardly attractive doesn't mean that he or she is going to make a good sex partner, depending on what you're looking for in that regard. On the other hand, someone who may exhibit what might stereotypically be described as physical flaws may, at the same time, be quite liberated and adventuresome with their sexuality. Until you get right down to it, there's no telling.
   Much of our disposition towards what is sexually appealing is, of course, media-based. There is really no end to the supply of exquisitely shaped and groomed bodies out there in magazines, the internet and on T.V. and movie screens. We see them, of course, in a perfect light. Peel away the make-up and what you get is often much less than perfect. Beyond that, you may also get less than the perfect sex partner you've envisioned based on what you saw up there on screen. Great beauty often breeds great insecurity and an insecure person already has one strike against them when it comes to enjoying their own sexuality. In this way, physical beauty does not always guarantee a fulfilling (or fulfilled) sex partner.
   Hopefully, you can be comfortable with your own sexuality. After that, hopefully you can find someone who is comfortable with theirs. I think it creates a wonderful union when two like-minded individuals end up together in this way. It's not the be-all and end-all to a relationship, it's just a wonderful bonus! 

  

Sleep

  

I still haven't figured out the whole sleep thing. I used to take sleep for granted as I've been doing it since Day One and every single other day for over sixty years now. It's the same with breathing, I do it all the time but I never take it for granted, I have a pretty good idea what the purpose of breathing is and why I need to do it so much.
   Sleep is different. Of course it gives the body an opportunity to rest and that is important but why can't you simply rest your body by plopping it down in an armchair for six to eight hours and leave it at that? Why is there a need for the human body to periodically enter a state of unconsciousness simply so that it can carry on the next day?
   Even scientists are a little vague as to why sleep is necessary. One theory has it that animals, in an attempt to avoid predators, would choose to remain still and quiet at times when those predators were out and about, in order to avoid detection. When evolution took over, this adaptive safety measure became sleep.
   Another theory is that sleep evolved as an energy conservation technique---you saved up your energy for when you really need it ie. hunting.
   Brain plasticity and the ability to grow cognitively are also touted as reasons sleep may be necessary.
   In all of this, though, there is still no hard and fast reason why sleep is necessary.
   What strikes me, though, when I really think about it is that sleep, unlike nourishment, does not simply produce a cause and effect relationship. It seems to assist the body with physical revitalization but this is not all that occurs when you sleep. You dream when you sleep.

   Is dreaming, then, also a vital by-product of sleep?
   If sleep were to be truly restful then there are lots of times when I would not want to have been dreaming when I was sleeping. I have awoken from a sleep beset by dreams which, rather than leaving me rested, only caused anxiety or fear, based on whatever it was I dreamt about. This does not seem restful to me.
   I wonder why we dream, then.
   As much as scientists have been unable to pin down exactly the need for sleep, they also have failed in the same way to discover the need for dreams.
   Dreaming occurs when you are the most deeply asleep, this occurring during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Some theories suggest that dreaming is a result of the brain trying to process the increased stimulation of the limbic system, the part of the brain which involves emotion, sensation and memories.
   Another suggestion for why we dream is that the brain, much like a computer, is simply trying to "refresh" itself. Another is the possibility that the brain is responding to and trying to interpret external stimuli in the waking world. As an example, a radio might be on somewhere and somehow the song on the radio becomes part of a dream.
   These are all theories and no-one really knows why we dream and why we sleep. Personally, I see sleep and

dreaming as the brain's opportunity to flex its muscle just a touch and show us that it's actually in control. It transports us out of the everyday flotsam of our waking lives and gives us little glimpses of what our hopes and desires are. It takes us places and puts us in situations we would never have entered, on our own. Dreams make us question our self-worth, sexuality, imagination, motivation and self-control. They show us our fears. Our brains, when we are asleep, screw with us.
   When I was younger, I tended to listen to and appreciate orchestral pieces of music. I heard these pieces in school and my parents had a couple of albums which highlighted them.
   Occasionally, as I was drifting off to sleep, I would hear music in my head---grand, sweeping pieces of music that I seemed to be in charge of and could propel in whatever direction I wished. These were always wonderful, semi-conscious moments. As an adult, I found I had the ability to sit down and compose similar music, with almost no formal training, apart from a few clarinet scales in Grade Nine. It's almost as if my brain were bridging some kind of gap between my own little dreamworld and the waking world I am familiar with.
   One of the other theories as to why we dream is that it provides an opportunity for psychoanalysis. It gives us the opportunity to look at a dream and try to figure out what it says about us that we might not already be aware of. I have some pretty weird dreams (we all do) and sometimes I have no idea what they're all about. Generally, though, if I really think about it, I can figure out why I was dreaming what I was dreaming. Often a dream will reference some occurrence from the past, even if that occurrence couldn't possibly be more inconsequential. It is up to us, then, to try and decipher the meaning of that dream. Possibly that inconsequential occurrence was a little more significant than we thought...?
   If I could choose to have dreamless sleeps I'm not sure that I would. I believe that a dream is as valid an experience as anything that might happen when you are fully conscious. They sometimes will show you a different way of looking at things. They might inspire or provoke you. Even the ones which scare you might tell you something about yourself (whether you like it or not!)
  
    
  

Halves

Fail!

   This is a picture of a stick of butter I cut. Although I was not trying to be too precise at the time, I was trying to cut it in half. As you can see, I failed. 

   Unless I actually measure, I do this a lot. It's the same with Freezies, the long ones. I like to cut them in half and eat each half separately. Quite often (as a visual exercise) I try to be as precise as possible when cutting them, so that I get equal portions. The end result is always the same and quite resembles the two butter sticks.
   What has happened when you see a result like this is that two mistakes, rather than just one, have actually been made. You have cut one portion too long and you've cut the other portion too short, all in one fell swoop.
   When we have two kids who both want part of the same thing, we have one kid cut it and the other kid pick the portion he wants. I love the beauty of this, it's a very self-governing kind of arrangement which takes very little parental involvement. Of course, I would want to be the kid choosing the portion, if at all possible, for the above reasons.
   Wouldn't it be nice if international disputes over land claims could be settled the same way? One country could draw the dividing line and the other country could pick the parcel of land it preferred. Can you imagine?
   I love symmetrical things you can fold in half. Actually, I like folding anything, symmetrical or not, it's one of those little OCDish things about me, and probably a whole other blog post topic.

This person gets ALL the luck!

   I love sheets of paper folded in half because this gives you continued options for folding in quarters, eighths and so on. The best part is, everything lines up, another little OCDish thing about me!
   I also enjoy cutting or tearing things in half, putting those two halves over top of each other and then cutting them in half. And so on.
   I appreciate sporting events which are timed in halves and quarters, such as football and basketball. Hockey and baseball throw me off just a touch, for the same reason.
   Twins and quadruplets are good. Triplets and quintuplets, not so much.
   I always enjoy meeting someone's better half for the first time, although it would open up the conversation somewhat to be introduced to someone's better third.

Yes!

   Some things have half-lives. A half-life is the length of time something takes to decay to half of its original value and is a term mainly used in physics. My brain passed its half-life awhile back and my body is now catching up.
   Colloquially-speaking, adding a half to something exceptionalizes it. A vacation is a vacation unless it is a vacation and a half, in which case it was a wonderful vacation. Barring sarcasm, of course.
   So there you go, hopefully I've gone a little way toward demonstrating that there is a world of difference between the halves and the halve-nots. Here's hoping you half a wonderful day and save the rest til later!