Angel

   In the series of blogs "Dad, these days", I tried to describe in fairly straightforward detail the trials and tribulations of Dad's struggle with Alzheimer's and then his ensuing hospitalization. At the same time, I was also attempting to keep his family and close friends abreast of what was happening in his life, on essentially a daily basis. For the most part, I stuck to the bare bones of things.
   Now, however, I would like to touch on one of the finer details of Dad's last few weeks.

   He had an angel.

   This particular angel's name is Doralyn and she is also my wife. I love her with all my heart for many reasons and she has done nothing in the last four weeks but provide me with more of them. In a variety of ways she has been my angel in the past and Dad's hospitalization has given me the privilege of watching her perform her angelic duties all over someone else for a change.
   In the first couple of days of Dad's stay he went through a period, before they were able to stabilize him, where he was adrift with anxiety, confusion and the simple inability to breathe. I remember him suddenly sitting up in bed many times, chest heaving, panicking at not being able to catch a breath. I remember Doralyn coming to him in this state and getting him to sit on the edge of the bed, at which point she proceeded to rub his back for him. It was wonderful to watch him melt away into this!

   She nursed him better than the nurses did. She saw the little things that needed tending to; the hair that needed combing, the teeth that needed brushing, glasses needing cleaning, all those things.
   Above and beyond all the physical things she tended to, she also minded his spirit. She was the one with calming touch and soothing voice. She was the one who stroked his hair and kissed his cheek. She was the one who reminded him how loved he was by everyone.
   And Dad responded to all that. He looked for her when she wasn't there. He always asked me to bring along "the cute one". I remember very well after one meal time when he was sitting in his chair, after the tray and stand had been pulled aside. He was sitting, hunched forward. with his forehead almost touching his kneetops due to exhaustion. She came and sat in front of him, held his hand and flirted a little bit. He pulled his head up, looked her in the eye, and reached out and cupped her on the chin. This is a moment that will stay with me forever.
   She ministrated to him daily, right up to the end. Whether it was clearing out the goopy eye or tending to the teeth and gums. At every visit she made him smile or laugh at something. When smiling and laughing were beyond him, she could still get a raised eyebrow.
   I have no qualms in saying that, if only one of us could show up, I believe he would have taken her over me. And, you know, I really didn't have a problem with that, I was just so thankful that she was there for him at a time when he needed the assuagement of his soul as much as anything else.
   Throughout all of this she has done much the same for me. On a pretty constantly daily basis she has asked, "What can I do for you?" There were times when I was able to tell her something specific but, more often than not, just having her there was enough.
   Doralyn loved my Dad just as much as any of us did. He was an easy man to love but part of her abiding love for him stemmed from the way he totally accepted her both into my life and into his. She told him this often. This was also a part of my love and admiration for this man.

   If there are heavenly angels, Dad is now among them. For me, I thank God for him having been visited by one here on earth.