Perceptions

   Quite a few years ago, I received a very excellent lesson in perception. At the time, I was working in a supervisory capacity with the agency which currently employs me. I was sharing an office with another person who held essentially the same position as myself.
   One afternoon, one of the employees appeared at our door with a concern which he stated to both of us. We gave him as much feedback as we could at the time. After he left, we compared notes and realized that we had diametrically opposed views on what had, only seconds before, gone on in our office.
   She thought the employee had stated his views in an angry and frustrated kind of way whereas I thought he had been calm and collected. I remember looking at her and not being quite sure what to say. I had the distinct impression she was looking at me the same way.
   This was a seminal moment in my somewhat limited understanding of human nature. What it meant was that I couldn't believe what I saw and heard. It was as simple as that. And it wasn't just that I couldn't believe my fellow co-worker. I had been given some reason to not believe myself.
   I am not so self-centered that I believe my perception of things is flawless. My perception of anything is simply that--my perception and not too likely the same as anyone else's.

   I think of that day in our office on a pretty regular basis. As I listen to people give me their observations on things going on around them I remind myself that these are only their perceptions and that mine could very well be totally different. I have also become very suspicious of gossip, particularly as it applies to myself. In the past, I have occasionally been told negative things that other people have said about me. As tempted as I might be to take things like that to heart, I always stop and remember that day in the office. I have vowed since then that I will form no second-hand negative opinion about other people within my sphere of influence. Until they actually do me me wrong right to my face, I will continue to relate to them as I would any other.
   The problem of different people's perception of things is mind-boggling when you think about it. I imagine a boardroom with maybe twelve people sitting around a large desk, working on a venture. What hope would there be in this with twelve different perceptions of the same issue? For that matter, how the hell does someone get an education?!
   Best to double-check, I guess. Or triple- or quadruple-check. Don't take anything on face value if it is at all important to you. Feel free to ask other people for input and then weigh it carefully. Find someone who generally sees things the same way you do and run stuff past them. Then find someone who never sees things the same way you do and run it past them as well. It might be an eye-opener.