It's A Good Age To Be!

   In just a little over three weeks from now, the world will mark the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.


JFK, moments before his assassination and one of many
similar images you will see in the coming weeks.

   The date is November 22 and, coincidentally, it is also a Friday, as it was back in 1963. There have already been ads on T.V. for planned specials to commemorate the event and you can be certain that the media will be inundated with Kennedy images.
   I am one of the older of my peer group and because of this I am one of the few who can actually remember that day, with clarity.
   At the time, I was in Grade Five and was attending Braemar Public School in North Vancouver. We were all sitting at our desks when the intercom came on and the principal informed us the Kennedy had been killed. We were stunned but we were stunned in a ten-year-old kid sort of a way---it was more of a holy cow kind of a moment for us and the true solemnity of the situation was, I think, lost on us. One of the girls in the class broke into tears, however, and was excused. Why this had happened rather perplexed us until our teacher told us that the student was actually an American and that the awful news had much more import to her.
   As the weekend went on and we found ourselves glued to the black and white images on our T.V. screens, the holy cow feeling I'd had in my classroom totally disappeared as the gravity of the times sunk in.
   I am pretty well able to remember every little image from that weekend. Many of them became iconic and I can only imagine that in the lead up to the fiftieth anniversary they will be everywhere you look. I, however, feel privileged to have seen them as they happened.
   This is one of the things I treasure the most about being the age I am. I am able to say that I was witness to much of the history we now have venerated, analyzed, distilled and

Armstrong steps on the moon.

fashioned idols around. Occasionally I was witness to it as it happened---I watched as man first set foot on the moon and I watched as Paul Henderson scored the winning goal against the Russians in '72. If I didn't happen to be watching when the event actually occurred then I was immediately afterwards immersed in its wake and denouement.

Henderson in '72

   As much as history books and T.V. can attempt to recreate an historic moment what they generally cannot accurately recreate is the emotion of the time--the looks that might have been passed back and forth by total strangers, the utter joy or the total dejection. At some point in the next few weeks there will likely be a replay of Walter Cronkite, the famous CBS newscaster, announcing to the world President Kennedy's death. The words he used were straightforward. It was the look on his face that was harder to describe. It was the same look that many people had those days and if you weren't there to experience it then you cannot know it accurately.
   I like being able to say "I was there", even if only as viewer and from far away. As terrible or as joyous as a world event might be, when you are my age you are able to place it within the context of all that has gone on before. When you have lived through as many monumental events as I have, the monumental events of today are somehow greatly lessened and I envy the clear-minded eighty-year-olds who are able to remember back even farther than I am.
   This, then, is my little window--I am at that age where there is much to remember but I am edging closer to the time when there will be much to forget. For now, though, it is a good age to be! 
    

Doodles for Doralyn

   This post is for my wife, Doralyn. This is not to say that the rest of you can't read it but I really wrote it with Doralyn in mind.

   I doodled on a blog post a couple of months ago and Doralyn kind of enjoyed it. So I thought I would doodle a little more.
   These doodles come to you courtesy of Windows Paint so, if you have Windows, you yourself can create art as amazing as this!
   I have doodled for as long as I can remember. Most of it was while I really should have been doing something else--writing an exam, composing a poem, looking for coverage, doing a crossword, talking on the phone, those kinds of things.
   Generally, I had nothing more than a pen or pencil at my command and very little ability to add colour afterwards. This has been what is kind of fun about the little doodles you see here--the colour.

   Also, as I have doodled, I've plugged myself into iTunes and have been listening to much of my favourite music over the years. This is one thing I've really gotten away from, sadly, over the last few years. So it has been a double-barrelled pleasure experience, this late-night doodling and old-time music!
   Doralyn and I just recently had our eight year anniversary of being together. It truly, however, feels as if it's been a much shorter length of time than that. The freshness of it all hits me just about every time I look at her. That and the overwhelming feeling that I have been extremely lucky.
   I tell her this a lot and she replies that it's a very mutual kind of relationship but were you to be at all familiar with us as a couple then there would be no hesitation in declaring me the winner of the "Who Is The Luckier" Sweepstakes!
   In reality, I think that anyone who has Doralyn in their life in any kind of capacity is all the better for it. This not only goes for me but applies as well to friends, relatives and co-workers---pretty well all the people who know her.
   Her sons, of course, are the most fortunate beneficiaries of having had her in their lives. It is not often easy melding families together and, in the crucible that was two marriages dissolving and becoming a new one, Doralyn's love and steady hand was what got them (and all of us, really) through it. They have all become fine young men we are very proud of them.
   Now, I'm not really sure what all this has to do with me doodling away the past few days. Except that Doralyn seemed to like it when I did. I can only imagine that, as long as this continues to be the case, I will endeavour to do so!

      
  
  

Man On Fire: My Face Falls Off

   It was a week ago that I stopped applying the Efudex cream. Oddly, my face started to feel less comfortable after I stopped. It became very dry and tight and sore to the touch.
   Then it began to peel.
   It peeled off in little chunks and large pieces. It was not the same kind of skin you end up peeling off after a sunburn, it almost seemed to have a charred steak look to it (very thin charred steak you must understand) and the skin underneath was still quite red-looking.
   I understand that it might take quite a while for normal-looking skin to re-appear---possibly weeks. This doesn't bother me too much, I put up with the already sun-damaged skin for years and am quite prepared to wait a long time for healthy stuff to emerge.

At the end of treatment...

...and a week later--slightly lighter
and you can see where it's been peeling.

   In the meantime, I am back to running and will soon be back to the gym as well. While the treatment was on, I'd been asked by the dermatologist not to do sweaty stuff and I attempted to heed her as much as possible. Hard as that was.
   My follow-up appointment is early in January. I'm hoping that this will have given my face the time it needs and we will go from there!

Man On Fire: Final Treatment

   Last night, I completed my final (I hope) Efudex application. Now to let the face heal and see what the outcome is!
   Along the way, I never experienced anywhere close to discomfort I'd been warned about by Dr. Horgan-Bell. I guess this is okay but, at the same time, I hope that the desired effect has been reached. I imagine that every patient is different and I hope that the level of sun damage I'd experienced was not severe enough to invoke a similar reaction as what I'd found on the internet or been warned about in the literature I'd been given at the doctor's office.
   Below is a pic of my face this morning. It still looks nasty but I can tell that it is changing for the better. For the last couple of days it has been, in very small sections, slowly peeling away. This was something I was expecting and , because I was expecting it, I find it gratifying and perhaps a little bit of evidence that the whole process has achieved its purpose. Time will tell!


Today. Perhaps a little lighter...

Couple of days ago.

   To the left is also the previous pic, for comparison sake. Not a lot of difference between the two!









Lightning Bolt Of Pain and "Amour"

   A couple of days ago, I was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on a sock. I can't tell you the countless number of times I've done this in my life, without anything untoward occurring.
   That particular morning, however, as one leg crossed over the other, I suddenly got what felt like a lightning bolt go through my lower back on the right side.

Like this...but in my back!

   I am not immune to the occasional twinge as a day progresses but this was the kind of pain that stopped me dead in my tracks. Well, not exactly "dead in my tracks" as I did manage to make it into work but after about fifteen minutes at work I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish my day and was fortunately able to make it home, after stopping to pick up some pain meds.
   That was the morning before last and yesterday I thought I was making a little progress. I had taken the day off work but had managed to gimpily pick up my new car at Honda. The rest, combined with some low-risk movement, seemed to make me feel better. We watched some T.V. last night and then headed off to bed.
   Very early this morning, in a still-more-or-less-asleep state, I shifted in bed. Well, I shifted the wrong way and yet another bolt of lightning brought me (and Doralyn) fully awake, with a yelp. Doralyn groggily asked what she could do for me and I groggily replied not too much. At that point I really didn't know what needed doing.
   At this point, I've been up for a couple of hours and I feel as though I am back to square one with the back pain and any gains I felt I made yesterday seem to have been negated. Thank goodness it is now the weekend and we have no major plans so I can just rest and take it easy.
   Last night, we rented and then watched a movie called "Amour". It is a French-language movie which won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language film back in the Spring. Essentially, I think we regretted the time spent watching it. It's a very slow-moving film which takes place almost exclusively in the apartment belonging to a senior couple in Paris. The movie starts with the authorities

breaking into the apartment, to find the decaying body of the woman, who has been placed lovingly on the bed, amidst cut flowers. From there, the movie goes back to describe how the woman ended up there. About five minutes of the film near the beginning takes place in a music auditorium and then on a mass transit car. The whole rest of the movie then takes place in their apartment.
   The couple were once music teachers and, after attending a performance by one of their former students, the woman has a stroke in their apartment. The rest of the movie chronicles her slow but inevitable decline and the effect this has on their relationship as well as their daughter, who only sees them occasionally. The man opts to care for his wife at home, rather than have her committed to a facility, and this only leads to family tensions.
   As I mentioned, the movie is very slow-moving and claustrophobic and sometimes hard to watch. Emmanuelle Riva, the actress who plays the wife, does an outstanding job portraying the gradual change and suffering the woman must endure. For this role, she was nominated for an Academy Award for a leading actress and it's not hard to see why. Jean-Louis Trintignant, as the husband, also does a great job of portraying the man's love, devotion and frustration at having to see his wife suffer. If you want an opportunity to sit and ponder the inevitability of the aging process, then this is the movie for you. If, on the other hand, you want to be excited and uplifted--well, you might want to check elsewhere.
   At one point as we were watching the movie and the husband finding himself very much in the caretaker role, Doralyn asked me if this was what she had to look forward to. This was fairly typical of something we might have joked about at any time but it was even more appropriate last night as I was hobbling around with my bad back and she was trying to do whatever she could to take care of me.
   Early this morning when I yelped us both into a waking state, Doralyn ran through a list of things she might be able to do to help me alleviate the pain. When I replied in the negative, she then stated that I make it very difficult for her to take care of me sometimes. My reply was that I loved her for wanting to!
  

10,000 Page Views!

   Today, "Neanderings" registered its 10,000th page view! This is something that kind of snuck up on me, actually, Blogger does keep a running stat of page views but it's probably the stat I pay the least attention to.
   But then---presto---ten thousand page views!
   "Neanderings" has been in existence for almost three years now and this is something which kind of blows me away, frankly, it seems as though I've only been doing it for a couple of months. In that three years, there have been views from seventy-four different countries around the world. This is not to say that I have much of a world-wide audience, however, the vast majority of visitors are from dear-old Canada. The U.S. has been catching up lately as I've managed to expand my audience just a touch.


I had Doralyn take a pic of me while I was blogging away one day.
Obviously I need to upgrade my phone...

   The past year or so I've found myself spending a little more time over on my other blog, "Strides", which you can see here, as the whole running thing caught my interest and "Neanderings" has been somewhat neglected, sad to say. Fairly recently, Doralyn mentioned that she kind of missed seeing "Neanderings" show up as often as it had been so I have resolved to blog here a little more faithfully in the future!
   Some of you have popped in here by accident from strange and far away places but many of you are faithful readers and I wanted to thank you all for occasionally stopping by over the last three years and making me feel as though the time and energy expended here is more than worth it.
   Hope to hear from you again soon and many, many thanks!!
  
  
  

Man On Fire: Day 16

   Today marks the start of my last week of Efudex treatment (unless you've been really paying attention, in which case it was actually yesterday) and apparently things are supposed to take a turn for the worse this week.
   I almost hope it does because so far there has been little change. I guess this is not unusual but I would like to start seeing some major progress here, discomfort or no.
   I have noticed one tiny little difference yesterday--as I was washing my face, a small little shred of skin peeled off. Hopefully this is a precursor to something a little more earthshaking. Then again, sometimes you need to be careful what you wish for...

Today's pic---maybe slightly darker...?



Previous pic.

   As you can see by the pics above, there hasn't been much change. I am a little more conscious these days, though, of being out and about and people looking at me. I don't really have a problem with them looking, I just feel this need to maybe explain.
   Hopefully, the next time I have a pic to post it will look a little more dramatic!
   Cheers!

 

Man On Fire: A Supportive Wife and A New Hat

   A couple of nights ago, as Doralyn and I were just hunkering down under the covers at bedtime, she finished reading my previous "Man On Fire" post, the "Vampire" one. She got to the part where I was promising faithfully to start wearing a broad-rimmed hat from here on in when I was out in the sun. She kind of grunted and commented, "I'll believe it when I see it."
   In reply, I made some joking comment about how nice it was, having a supportive wife like that.
   To her credit, she then went on to remind me of all the times she had been supportive and had almost begged me to buy and start wearing a different hat. She offered to buy me one many different times when we were out and about and saw them for sale somewhere. She has also reminded me constantly to wear sunscreen.

Doralyn

   It is not without a little bit of history that she is this supportive; eleven years ago, almost to the day of our bedtime conversation, her father passed away from skin cancer. Having to have lived through watching someone you love pass away from the ravages of this particular disease  would only make you that much more wary and vigilant with the rest of your loved ones. As much as she pesters me about the sun, you should hear rag on the boys!
   I have always been blessed with Doralyn's support, in all parts of my life. It matters not whether it's physical or emotional support--she is there, like a rock. Because of this, it is my fervent desire to always be there for her! And all five of our boys!
   And that is why I will be buying a new hat!
  
     

Man On Fire: The Vampire In Me

   As part of this ongoing Efudex treatment I am currently in the middle of, one of the things my dermatologist has told me is that I should avoid direct sunlight.
   I guess this sort of makes sense, when you're talking about an area of skin which is slowly being stripped of its protective covering then keeping it out of the sun seems like a really good idea.

   What I have found is that it's a little tricky avoiding direct sunlight. Almost impossible, actually, short of carrying around a Hallowe'en mask or some frilly little parasol. What I do know is that you are definitely very aware of whether you're in the sun or not when you've been on Efudex for a few days. As I mentioned in a previous post, the sensation is almost exactly the same as a bad sunburn and we all know how it feels walking around in the sun when you already have a nasty burn.

A vampire fries---not for ME, thanks!

   So now I am even more conscious of the sun than I was before. I am vampire-conscious of the sun, in fact! I have seen way too many B-movies where the lords of the undead either melted in the sun, sizzled in the sun or simply exploded in the sun as they found themselves trapped beneath its solar rays. Not for me!
   I do now find myself thinking back to how I ended up in this uncomfortable situation. I believe the biggest part of my mistake was thinking that a ball cap was protecting my entire head from the harmful effects of the sun. I am quite religious about carrying head protection around with me (just in case) and I wear a cap even if I'm just walking down to the corner.
   The problem, however, is that a ball cap will cover the top of your head nicely and keep the sun out of your eyes but that's about it.
   Over the years, in retrospect, I think my weekly game of golf has been the biggest culprit. I can't tell you how many times I would get back from an hour and a half of golfing with a bit of a ruddy glow on my cheeks and chest, where my shirt falls open. I never considered myself having been burned by the sun but the cumulative effect now has me where I am.
   Stupid me! It's not like I didn't know the sun was dangerous! But I have still gone out and done an inadequate job of protecting myself and this must change.


Hmm...this Tilley cap seems to be shading
not only ME but part of the boat as well!

   I will be getting a new hat, and wearing it for any protracted stays out in the sunshine. No more golfing with just a ball cap on! The new hat will have a broader rim which will go all the way around, something like the one to the right. No more of the standard (and way cooler) golfing ball cap, pictured below.


Shades my eyes---not my face!

   More sunscreen than I normally apply will be the order of the day, as well. And not just the head and face will get it!
   Obviously, this has all been a bit of a wake-up call for me and I'm hoping that it will resonate a little with anyone reading or hearing about it. I can't say that I am particularly worried about it right at the moment but that's not to say that it isn't worrisome!
  

Man On Fire: Day Ten

   So here I am at Day Ten of the Efudex treatment for sun damage on my face. The clinical name for this type of damage is actinic keratosis (AK). Here is a link to the Skin Cancer Foundation info page if you'd like to sneak a peek. This page also provides all sorts of links to where they talk about prevention, risk factors, treatment, etc.
   The spot on my left cheek is now a deeper red and is somewhat more tender. It feels very similar to a sunburn and, so far, is not too uncomfortable. At this point, however, I am only about half way through the twenty-one day treatment. Dr. Horgan-Bell, who I saw this morning, says that the discomfort will be at its worst at the end of the three weeks. At that point, hopefully, the healing process starts!

Day 10--today

Day 7 (previously posted as
Day 6--my math sucks!)

   Dr. Horgan-Bell also re-iterated that there should be no running, as this would only irritate things. She said I could walk and that was about it. I guess the perspiration is one of the biggest issues. My plan had been to sweet-talk her into letting me run under certain circumstances but she gave me a rather stern look at this point and my resolve kind of just floated away on the air. She also noted that I was self-treating a smaller spot on the other cheek and she didn't have a major problem with that but did suggest that I not go overboard.

Just think a little higher up...

   She also performed a cryotherapy treatment on the spot on my leg. This involves freezing the affected area with liquid nitrogen and then letting it heal naturally. This stung quite a bit while she was doing it but settled quickly
   I am on my own now for a couple of months as I don't see the doctor again until early January. Hopefully she will see a face devoid of the blotchies! You, dear readers, will get to see lots of blotchies over the next couple of weeks!

Man On Fire: Day Seven

   Almost a week ago, I started the Efudex treatment and, so far, there has not been a lot of change. The discomfort has been almost non-existent. If anything, the patch of skin on my cheek is a slightly deeper red now although this is hard to see on the pic I took.
   I've been reminding myself that, according to all the literature, the discomfort increases greatly during the second week of treatment. I am almost looking forward to this as it should give me more confidence that the Efudex is actually doing its thing. Right at the moment, it just feels like a mild sunburn.

Once again, my "before pic".

   I go back to see my dermatologist, Dr. Horgan-Bell, this Wednesday morning. If there's another side-effect (benefit) from all this it's that I'm now paying a little more attention to all the other little spots on my body and am planning on talking to her about them this week.


Day 7--not a lot of change but
a little more tender to the touch

   This weekend has constituted my "off" days--no application of the Efudex. This is to give my face some time to recover and I actually have a whole other cream to apply, to facilitate this. Because I was in such minimal discomfort, though, I haven't yet felt the need to apply any. I'm not sure if I'm being a good boy or not! Maybe later today...
   At any rate, it's back to the Efudex tomorrow and we'll see what the next week brings! Cheers!