Women

   I like women. It's almost, like, if I'd lived a former life it might of been as a woman. If I have to hang around with a bunch of people I'd really rather hang around with women. Nothing wrong, though, with occasional groups of guys, especially if you're watching sports (or playing them, for that matter) but if there's a mixed social gathering I tend to gravitate to the women.
   Yes, I know, you're wondering if I'm latently gay. Could be, but I don't think so, because, as I said, I like women!

Diana Rigg-The Avengers

   One of my skills is finding something beautiful about a woman that otherwise may have gone unnoticed. This happened all the time in high school, I'd see a girl who maybe wasn't the blonde cheerleader type and I could always find something attractive about her to focus on. Occasionally, as time went on, other guys might eventually begin to notice some of the same things. At the time, though, it often seemed like I was noticing different women than the guys I was hanging out with.

Elizabeth Montgomery-Bewitched

   Of course, as a high school kid, this did me absolutely no good. I was no more able to approach girls than I was to engage in rope-climbing in the gym. Two totally foreign concepts! I could see other guys performing both, flawlessly, and was in awe. The geeks and I hung out, for sure.
   Oddly enough, in public school, I remember being quite adroit with the ladies. The group of us flirted endlessly, held hands, kissed, and switched allegiances constantly. High school, for whatever reason, ended all of this and there occurred, in Grade Nine, the death of a ladies' man (to borrow from Leonard Cohen).

Stephanie Powers-Girl from U.N.C.L.E.

   Several years passed before I caught my stride a little. I had always been pretty obtuse around women and generally never picked up on any subtle clues that they might actually have been interested in me. As an adult, quite often I would go back and re-live some of those bygone interactions and realize that, indeed, I had been an idiot for not picking up on some of that stuff!
   I've been interspersing some of the above with pictures of several of the women I found most attractive in my adolescent days. This, obviously, was before the internet wherein images of beautiful women are daily at your fingertips. In the olden days, TV was about the only way you were going to find wonderful women actually moving and speaking on screen. And that was generally once a week, so you had to pay attention to the TV guide and make your weekly claim to the boob tube!
   Those were heady times for a young boy in the midst of his own hormonal explosion and I was quite totally in love (lust) with all the pictured women and many more--Jane Fonda, Mary Tyler Moore, Anne Francis, Inger Stevens, Barbara Eden, etc.
   There have been several generations of beautiful women in the intervening years and differing definitions about what constitutes beauty. I am one of the believers of the axiom that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". This is true of both art and women. My career choice has had me working with a multitude of attractive women over the years and quite often the level of their beauty is intrinsically tied in to the type of women they are. I have watched some of the most beautiful of them walk up to me with almost no effect whatsoever. On the other hand, I can spend time with a woman who may have some stereotypical "flaw" and yet feel a slightly surging pulse rate when they are around.

   So, as I said, I like women. I have not always treated them well, for a variety of reasons in a variety of situations. There are times when I've wanted to go back and fix things, maybe do them differently--all the way from high school to my fifties. I have also seen the way other men treat women and find this deplorable. There have been subtle things--men moving their wives or girlfriends hundreds or thousands of miles away from their loved ones. Men berating their wives in front of company. And less subtle things. I remember being in a hockey dressing room once with a woman who'd been abused by her husband. Her husband was in the arena somewhere but she was the one who had the kids and she was desperately trying not to be the last person left in the dressing room. You could visibly see the panic in her as the other parents started to filter out. Finally, there was just her and her kids and me and mine. The fear she had of being alone in this room with her abusive husband in the vicinity was almost palpable and I told her I would be happy to wait until she was ready to go. The relief on her face was undeniable, and she thanked me profusely. This was as close as I've come to this kind of situation but I understand they exist everywhere and, as a man, it disheartens and sickens me. And will probably be a whole other blog someday...

Lori, my ex-wife, with my sons, Bryant on the left, Ben on the right

   I have been blessed, in many ways, in my relationships with women. I have had the good fortune to have been married to the two most wonderful women I know. There came a point in my life when I had to decide to be with one over the other and, in the process of doing this, caused much pain to many people. I strongly suspect that one of these days I will write about that experience here, if there comes a day when I can finally wrench it out of me. One of the most wonderful things about the both of them is the mothers they are and the fierce, protective love they have for their kids. How lucky those boys are!
   And, as I mentioned, how lucky I've been!

Keenan, Callum, my wife Doralyn and Quinlan

   Women will never be understood, at least not by men. The minefield that is women has been fodder for conjecture, bemusement, anger, confusion and stand-up routines for generations. I tiptoe through it with amazement most of the time. I is a minefield I have misstepped in many times and pieces of me have then been found, scattered all about. Whether I've learned by any of my mistakes is up for conjecture but I do try not to make the same one twice. I guess the trick is to have at least one saving grace. And maybe one more up your sleeve...
   I say this all in praise of women, would that the world was ruled by them. It is hard to picture women constantly sending their children off to fight. It is not hard to see them as the providers we all need them to be. So appreciate them. Guard them. And, while you're at it, just love them!

The only thing better than me liking women is women liking women!