Throwing the damn ball

   When I was a little boy, my Dad and I used to play catch all the time. I threw the ball effortlessly and  was generally on target.
   One day, we were playing catch out on the the front lawn and I threw the ball just slightly over his head, forcing him to retrieve it. On my next throw, I over-corrected and it hit the grass about ten feet in front of me.
   I haven't been able to throw a ball since.
   I was unable to groove a ball again that day and my inability to do so has continued right to the present. I generally am able to hit the target for the first 4 or 5 throws and then it disappears, all over again.
   This, of course, is deeply psychological. At least, that's the way it feels. It actually has a name, this inability to make simple throws. It's called the "Steve Sax Syndrome". Steve Sax was an All-Star second baseman for the Los Angeles Dodgers who, in 1983, inexplicably became unable to make simple throws from second to first. In fact, that season he committed 30 errors, an unheard-of amount for a major league player. Often, the ball would go flying into the stands, prompting the fans in that area to begin wearing batting helmets. Fortunately, Sax was able to recover from this and go on to play well.
   Some have suggested that it is not so much a psychological disorder as a bio-mechanical one. This gives some hope. Likely, it is a combination of both, I can't even visualize the feel of throwing a ball correctly anymore and this is a very strange feeling to have.

   Not that long ago, I used to play slo-pitch. My favourite position by far was pitcher because it wasn't terribly often that a hard, accurate throw was required. In fact, almost all the "throwing" was underhand, lobbing the ball in to batters. Occasional throws to first base were required but they were never long. And even a couple of those were in the dirt. I even have difficulty when every so often somewhere a stray ball of some kind gets loose near me and I try and toss it back onto the court, floor or diamond. Several of those have also been "in the dirt"!
   Fortunately, not being able to throw a ball has not closed too many doors for me. Every now and then I think that I should just go find a brick wall somewhere and throw a ball against it (hence no fear of causing my partner to have to chase the ball) until I get the groove back.
   Whether mechanical or psychological, my condition does give me some insight into the "yips". The "yips" is a condition most commonly associated with golf. A golfer having the "yips" means that when he is putting he is unable to produce a smooth, unfaltering stroke. He hesitates and is unable to decide even how to begin his stroke. This is similar to what happens to me when I am trying to throw a ball--I hesitate, almost aim the ball. When you aim the ball it simply means that you are too target-oriented and are not throwing the ball. It also means that you have somehow blocked out a learned skill, something that has come almost second nature to you since you were a child. I find it fascinating that your mind toys with your body and your body confounds your mind in such a way.
   At this point, I am in no big hurry to figure out how to throw a damn ball. Certainly my livelihood does not depend on it so no big deal. And if I was worried about my reputation, I certainly wouldn't be telling you all about it, would I? If anything, there are now lowered expectations--nobody's going to call me up and ask me to play the infield anytime soon now. And that's fine by me.